Calm Casualties

Few days ago while you were mine. I was so happy for owning a soul divine. I felt so lucky that my wishes came true. But I was a fool, a stupid wearing one shoe. One shoe was with me, and one shoe was missing. First shoe was of affection, and other one of trusting. You thought me a moron, that I was a player. Well, you were so wrong, but me, I never cared. As one should understand, the other one's silence. Yeah, you took me wrong, now look into my eyes. It was you forever, just you and no one else. You may never heard of it or I might never told you this. I see my world now falling apart, I see you gone. I'm not gonna ask you back, I'll continue to be a moron. 'Cause this is me, and you loved me for it once. This is why you happened to me, for good or for worse. Keeping my eyes ground-ward, searching for my another shoe. I miss you so, an I hope you miss me too.

Kabhi hamare sath chalkar Kabhi hamare sath rehkar Tum chale gaye achanak Hamari zindagi badalkar Tum the tow lagta tha ab na koi khwahish hogi. Tum the tow lagta tha ab na koi farmaish hogi. "Jaane khuda kyu rehemgir hai mujh par? Ya mujhe tolne ki koi aazmaish hogi." Phir hua bhi kuch yun hi, tum kho gaye jaane kidhar. Jaane kaise ikk hui ye raah aur meri nazar. Hum dekhte hi reh gaye aur aashiyaana jalta reh gaya Bebas tow jaane kab se the, lo ho gaye ab beghar. Yaado ke saaye tow sath hain mere har dam, har pal, Katl karte hain mujhe, har ghadi ban mera kaatil. Fir bhi jeeye jaa rahe hain hum issi ummeed mein Aao shayad laut ke inn panaaho me phir tum kal.

I hate it high, I hate so hard. That being so close. But feeling apart. To act like a human. To think much insane. To have it all. But nothing to claim. Assuming you know me. Pretending you're there. Realizing it's nothing. But a sheer dream-sphere. Then I hate it much more. Like some shit so real. Trying to get over it. The memories you appeal.

Sometimes I grow, I grow so cold. Feel nothing, see nothing, have nothing to hold. But somehow I know, I hear it so loud. The sound that resonates, resonates outbound. Hurting my heart, my soul and my brain, "Bleeding and bleeding, Listening and breathing" Inhales then exhales, exhales in pain. Like raising alone, in a darksome sky, A sky without stars, stars and moonlight. Fearing the sunrays, escaping the shadows. Running so fast, dead and disclosed. In search of a place, where I can hide, "Bleeding and bleeding, Searching and seeking." Seeking so long that I went so blind. Sometimes I grow.

So you think I've got an attitude problem. Perhaps, you caught a perception problem. ;)  (Curtains Call) If you're waiting for a 'Hi' or 'Hello' to start with Then I must tell you, I just don't do that & I can't help it. I can't act sweet all the time cuz being a friend means much more. I don't seem to be, but yeah, I do care for sure. Sometimes I fake around you cuz I like it when I see you smile. It's easy to flaunt the truth but what if it'll apart us like miles? All I'm trying is to hold, to save this relationship. Of course I'm trying hard, so hard, to fix this emotive shit. But again If I'm hurting you like a heartache & causing you cry. Just let me know baby, I'll escape from your world and without asking why. Or all you could do is to leave me alone.. At your own.

Live and die. Love and cry. My world has just two faces, mine and thy. My dream is to chase you. Even across all skies. I know I have no wings, but I still wanna fly. I know, I'll fall. I know my future is dry. But still, I will stand up, flutter my wings and try.   This life is full of sorrows. This planet is filled with pains. The wounds I have will never heal, heart-aches,blunt cuts and boggling strains. Pulping out the memories, to get back those moments. The moments I had you, and this aint a lie. My world has just two faces, mine and thy.

Was it my fault, or were they yours? Or was it the time, what was so coarse? Like a pair of curtains, we drifted apart. Holding same pole, but hanging so far. Staring at void, I saw you in tears. But they were just stars, as sky got more clearer. I shape you in fog, in mist, in water. I feel you around, every moment, like air. Someday, I hope, the curtains will be closer, Hiding the insight, together and forever. Blocking the sun-rays, the meddlers, to come in. Escaping from the world, and continue what we were dreaming...

It's been a while when I used to sit against my machine and wrote about the stuff I felt during the time. The time when I was into much thinking and do nothing state, expressing my brain (not heart) through keyboard. But since long, I haven't done it. Not since last two years I guess. I still think a lot. About the things one shouldn't care about, one shouldn't waste his/her time about. But I still do. And im starting it again. To type them down here. Happy Blogging?